Tag Archives: extroversion

An Introvert and an Extrovert Walk into a Bar…

by Gilian Baker

If an introvert and an extrovert walked into a bar, how could you tell them apart?

introvert or an extrovert

Easy! The introvert would quietly order a drink, wince at the noise level while she waited for the bartender, and then move to a remote table where she could watch the surrounding activity.

An extrovert would walk in and high-five the people she knew. She’d stop several times on her way to the bar to chat with acquaintances. Once she had her drink, she’d sit down in the middle of a table full of friendly faces and shoot the breeze.

But I’ll let you in on a secret…

Our introverted or extroverted personalities impact our lives in many aspects, not just how we socialize. For example, how we “do” creativity is an often-overlooked aspect of how our personalities affect us.

What does it mean to be an Introvert or an Extrovert?

It all started when Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist in the 1920s, observed a variety of “functions” in the way people access their cognitive processes. These processes include how we gather information, make decisions, and relate to ourselves and others. He coined the words “introvert” and “extrovert” to explain how we focus our attention and energy and how we relate to the world around us.

Jung’s terms are often misunderstood. Many people believe introverts hate being around people, probably because they are shy. Not true! Likewise, some believe extroverts are loud attention seekers, the life of every party. Not always!

introvert and an extrovert

However, Jung identified that introverts and extroverts are indeed very different from one another.

Introverts:

  • Recharge their energy by being alone and turning inward. Being with others for too long is draining.
  • Do their best thinking alone in a distraction-free area where they can engage with their inner lives.
  • Tend to pause before they act or speak to think through how they want to respond.

Extroverts:

  • Recharge their energy by being with other people. Being alone too much is draining.
  • Do their best thinking when discussing their ideas with others.
  • Tend to jump into action without much planning.

If you aren’t sure which you are, I recommend this free personality test.

Regardless of our type, embracing it makes our lives more enjoyable and way easier. After all, why fight your natural tendencies when you could go with the flow?

The Introvert and Extrovert Brain

The emergence of neuroscience has validated Jung’s earlier findings. An introvert and an extrovert’s brain works differently!

Without getting too technical, the difference between the two is their preference for pleasure neurotransmitters.

Acetylcholine makes us feel good when we turn inward to reflect and ruminate for extended periods. When acetylcholine is released, it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system—the “rest and digest” system.

introvert and an extrovert

When dopamine floods the brain, we turn outwardly. We become more talkative and attentive to our environment. We feel confident in exploring unknown experiences and are more willing to take risks. Dopamine activates the sympathetic nervous system or the “flight or fight” response.

Introverts favor the calming pleasure neurotransmitter acetylcholine, while extroverts prefer a dopamine buzz.

Both introverts and extroverts have and use acetylcholine and dopamine, just as they use both components of their nervous system. They just each have a preference of which one they use, and they make use of it more often.

Personality and Writing

As a writer, I use my understanding of my introverted nature to my advantage. I guard my writing time, making sure it happens when I can shut the door of my office and not be disturbed. I also prefer to write in large chunks of time because I can deeply engage with my inner life as I dream up characters, plots, and worlds without stopping and starting.

There are other ways that being an introvert or an extrovert affects the writing process as well.

Introverts as Plotters:

introvert and an extrovert
Edgar Allan Poe, Introvert
  • Need to anticipate the direction of their writing before putting words on paper (Plotting)
  • Write all or parts of their work in their heads before they write it down.
  • Often pause while writing to clear their minds from distracting thoughts, rework what they’ve just written or anticipate where they are going next.
  • Reluctant to seek feedback, and when they get it, need time alone to mull it over before taking action on it.

Extroverts as Pantsers:

introvert and an extrovert
Mark Twain, Extrovert
  • Develop their best ideas while writing (“pantsing”).
  • Do their best thinking out loud or while discussing their work with others.
  • Invite others to “interrupt” them to improve their work in progress.
  • Gain enthusiasm and energy while writing the first draft in noisy, busy places.

What I’ve found as a writing coach is that writers who embrace their personality type write more effortlessly and with more joy than those who don’t. I use the personality type of each of my clients to teach them how to overcome their creative struggles.

An Introvert or an Extrovert Creativity Style

Obviously, writers aren’t the only creative people on earth. You’ll also notice that you tend to choose how you “do” creativity based on whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Here are a few examples to consider:

Knitting and Other Needlecrafts

Introverts—enjoy this creative pursuit alone. They might take online courses or use YouTube videos to learn new skills.

Extroverts—join a Stitch and *itch group where they can learn from and talk to others while they work.

Painting

Introverts—work in their own studio or alone in nature where they can get caught up in their own world of creativity.

Extroverts—take a class and maybe join a group of people who are painting murals on the sides of buildings.

Playing Music

Introverts—learn new techniques by taking online courses or going to YouTube. They play for their own enjoyment or possibly for a small group of intimate friends.

Extroverts—take lessons, or, better yet, a class with other students to learn new skills. They might join a band and spend their evenings and weekends playing for any crowd who will listen.

As you can see, we can all enjoy the same activities—we just do them in different ways. It’s not important if you are a plotter or pantser. Or if you sit alone or with a group at your local bar. There isn’t a “best type.”

What matters is that you know which you are and then use that information to guide your decisions about how you use your creativity. Your brain has probably been trying to tell you for years to “give in” to your natural tendency. I’m giving you permission to listen!

Are you more an introvert or an extrovert? Which of the ways of expressing creativity above do you relate to most?

Gilian Baker is a former English professor turned mystery author and writing coach. She uses personality theory and brain science to help intuitive writers embrace their unique writing process so they can overcome their creative blocks and write books readers crave. If you are an introverted writer who is struggling to get their book finished, go here to schedule a free Story Strategy Session. Together, we’ll dig into how you can crush your creative blocks!

Grab her first book, Blogging is Murder, for free on her website.

We blog here at misterio press about twice a month, usually on Tuesdays. Sometimes we talk about serious topics, and sometimes we just have some fun.

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Introvert vs. Extrovert — Do We Really Understand the Difference?

And do opposites attract, or are we birds of a feather?

flock of birds at sunset

On the subject of introversion vs. extroversion the answer to that question is some of both.

Introvert/extrovert – We assume we know the meaning of these words. Extroverts are outgoing and talkative. Introverts are quiet and shy. Right?

Well, yes and no.

Extroversion–introversion is one of the continuum in the Big Five Trait theory. This is a well-researched theory regarding how our personalities tend to be organized. There are five major continuum of traits in this theory, with quite a few other traits within each of these categories.

In addition to Extroversion–introversion, these continuum are:
Agreeableness (how ruthless vs. softhearted you are)
Conscientiousness (how reliable you are)
Neuroticism (how emotionally stable you are)
Openness to New Experiences (how adventurous you are)

Now with regard to most of these trait continuum, the phrase, “birds of a feather flock together” applies. We tend to be attracted to people similar to ourselves. But there are two exceptions.

One is the neuroticism/emotional stability continuum. Those folks like me who are more intense (more high maintenance, some–like my husband–might say) are usually attracted to people who are easy-going. But this is another whole post. So let’s get back to extroversion-introversion, which is the other continuum where opposites attract.

drawing of a gril talking to a silent boy

(‘Talk’ by Mr. Seafall, CC-BY-SA 3.0 Wikimedia)

On the surface, I present as an extreme extrovert. I’m very talkative. I start conversations with strangers on a regular basis. (I draw the line at inanimate objects, though I do talk to animals, and the occasional plant. 😉 )

Roughly two-thirds of my friends, including my husband, are introverts. The other third are very close to the cusp between the two versions of this trait (sometimes called ambiversion, as in ambidextrous when it comes to these traits).

Most of my friends are introverts because their personalities complement my own. Introverts make a good audience for the extrovert. As one of my friends put it: “I like it that you talk so much. That way I don’t have to think of much to say.”

Other than relieving one of the obligation to make conversation, I can only speculate about our appeal from the introverts’ point of view. My guess is they find us extroverts entertaining.

But why are so many of my friends near the cusp–neither strongly extroverted nor blatantly introverted? Ah, this brings us back to the true meaning of extroversion–introversion. It is a lot more complicated than we tend to think.

You see, I am actually very close to being an ambivert myself. Despite my obvious extroverted traits, I score on the introverted side on one very important but little understood aspect of this continuum–how one experiences social stimulation.

diagram of the extroversion--introversion continuum

(by RCraig09 CC-BY-SA 3.0 Wikimedia Commons)

Extroverts draw energy from interacting with others; introverts are drained by such interactions and need to be away from people for awhile to recuperate. Regarding this crucial trait, I am an introvert. I crave large quantities of alone time. My mother was the same way. She referred to herself as an introvert who operated as an extrovert.

Now this doesn’t mean introverts dislike being around other people. They have social and emotional needs just like extroverts. But after awhile, they need to be alone.

And while we’re on the subject, let me point out another misconception about introverts. They aren’t all shy, nor do they necessarily have difficulty making friends. They are somewhat quieter, less quick to speak up, but they may very well be quite talkative amongst friends (my husband certainly is!)

And I know several introverts who are better at making friends than I am, even though I may appear more “friendly” on the surface. I’m quick to start a conversation with just about anyone, but I’m actually slow to make a friend.

Fortunately my cofounder of misterio press, Shannon Esposito, is one of those introverts who makes friends easily. We met at a writers’ conference. I initiated the conversation but she was the one who opened the door to friendship and invited me in with a flourish.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the Big Five Trait continuum are somewhat independent of each other. Shannon is quite adventurous. As bold as I am at trying new things, she is always right there with me. Indeed she’s often leading the way. This is not a trait we usually associate with reserved introverts. And it shouldn’t be, because it’s on a completely different continuum–Openness to New Experiences. An introvert can be adventurous; an extrovert can love predictable routine (I know a couple of them).

I guess the moral of all this is to not be too quick to label someone as introverted or extroverted, and don’t be too surprised if most of your friends are from the other side of the continuum. Unless you’re a true ambivert, in which case you will probably “flock together” with other ambiverts.

How about you? Do you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert? Are you drained or energized by being around others?

Posted by Kassandra Lamb. Kassandra is a retired psychotherapist turned mystery writer. She writes the Kate Huntington mystery series.

We blog here at misterio press once (sometimes twice) a week,  usually on Tuesdays. Sometimes we talk about serious topics, and sometimes we just have some fun.

Please follow us so you don’t miss out on any of the interesting stuff, or the fun! (We do not harvest, lend, sell or otherwise bend, spindle or mutilate followers’ e-mail addresses.)