Age Is Relative, Especially During a Pandemic (Plus a New Contest!)

by Kassandra lamb

My birthday and Labor Day are usually close together, sometimes on the same day. This year, they were three days apart, and both were bittersweet. On Labor Day, hubs and I grilled burgers, but it was just the two of us, as it has been now for months, and my birthday…well…

At the beginning of 2020, I didn’t feel all that old. I was 67, in my “mid-sixties.” *wink, wink* I was basically in good health, just some annoying chronic issues, but nothing that seriously impaired my quality of life.

And then we had a pandemic.

Age is Relative!
Not my birthday cake, but about the right number of candles, if six of them represent decades! (photo by Aneta Pawlik on Unsplash)

And I was in one of the “high risk” groups—those over 60. Of greater concern was that my husband was 70, higher risk still.

So we hunkered down, as advised by the CDC, for the duration. Only the duration has been a lot longer than we counted on.

And knowing that we have to stay home as much as possible has made us very aware of our age, on a daily basis.

Then, last week, I turned 68. I am now in my “late sixties.” Somehow, this year has aged me more than any year should. I feel like I’ve been robbed of my last year in my “youthful” mid-sixties.

Which brings me to the point of this post…

Age is relative!

And the older you get, the more relative age is.

As in, it’s related to a lot of different factors. One, of course, is how healthy you are. Another is how old you look. I’ve finally hit the age where it’s a good thing to have oily skin. I have virtually no wrinkles.

But one thing I’ve had to come to grips with during this pandemic is gray hair. I’ve gone to the hairdresser religiously every 5 weeks for years, having my roots touched up—not necessarily to cover the few gray hairs I had in my younger days, but because I like being a redhead. I’ve had auburn hair for so long now that my “natural” brunette doesn’t seem natural anymore.

But there’s been no going to the hairdresser for months, and I’m discovering that I am now MOSTLY GRAY! Yup, my “natural” color is no longer brunette; it’s a rather splendid silver tone!

So I keep debating…

Age is relative

Should I let the gray grow out completely, or go for a lighter auburn dye when I can finally get my hair done professionally again? *sigh*

Every few weeks, I hack away at my hair when it gets too long and heavy around my face… and put off the decision to gray, or not to gray.

Meanwhile, restlessness has set in. Time becomes more precious as you age. You become more aware of having only a limited amount of it left. So not being able to see my friends and extended family is starting to get to me.

Okay, I want to stop here and say that I am grateful.

I’ve not lost loved ones to this insane disease, and my heart goes out to those who have. And to the first responders, medical personnel and other essential workers who are putting themselves on the front lines every day! And to those who’ve suffered financial setbacks, sometimes life-changing, because of this pandemic. I do very much realize that I am one of the lucky ones who only has to deal with the self-isolation.

Now back to the concept that age is relative. Barring major health issues, aging is more and more a state of mind the older we get. As a friend of mine once said, on the occasion of her 50th birthday, “How did my 25-year-old mind get trapped in this 50-year-old body?”

I don’t particularly appreciate being reminded on a daily basis, by Covid-19, of my age. It makes it harder to keep myself “thinking young.” One thing that helps, though, is playing with my imaginary friends (i.e., my characters), many of whom are still younger than me. I have been writing a lot, during my quarantine. It’s a good distraction.

Maybe all of this is why the theme of “age is relative” ended up in my new story, coming out on September 22, My Funny Mayfair Valentine. Marcia Banks finds herself dealing with the interplay of age and romance, with her own mother and also other “older” members of the Mayfair community.

(And yes, I know it’s a little weird to release a Valentine’s Day story in September, but it was ready and I figured no point in making my readers wait for it. We can all use as much diversion as possible right now.)

How about you? Do you feel the pandemic is aging you before your time?

Oh, and we have a new contest! See below.

My Funny Mayfair Valentine, A Marcia Banks and Buddy Mystery #10

A newcomer to Mayfair charms the socks off of Susanna Mayfair, the sheltered niece of the town’s elderly matriarch. In a panic, the aunt turns to service dog trainer Marcia Banks to dig into the man’s past.

What Marcia finds, with her detective husband Will’s help, is disturbing—a trail of broken hearts and outstanding warrants. But when the older gentleman is arrested, he claims it’s a case of mistaken identity.

While Will attempts to untangle the truth and Susanna struggles with her feelings, Marcia is worried about her friend’s mental health, unaware that Susanna may be in physical danger as well. Will Marcia figure it out in time to protect Susanna…and herself?

Available for Preorder Now for just $0.99 ~ Goes up to $2.99 after release on 9/22/20



Win a Self-Care Box of Goodies from Etsy and 4 Signed Paperbacks!

Age Is Relative -- Sept. Self-Care Contest
Age is Relative -- Sept. Self-Care Contest

Click HERE for more details and to Enter!!

Posted by Kassandra Lamb. Kassandra is a retired psychotherapist turned mystery writer. She is the author of the Kate Huntington psychological mysteries, set in her native Maryland, and a new series, the Marcia Banks and Buddy cozy mysteries, set in Central Florida.

We blog here at misterio press about twice a month, usually on Tuesdays. Sometimes we talk about serious topics, and sometimes we just have some fun.

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  • Reply
    Barb Taub
    September 8, 2020 at 1:42 am

    Haha! I’ve always heard that “old” is 15 years older than you are. So that gives you at least until age 83 to have your hair colour EXACTLY the way you see as the real you.

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      September 8, 2020 at 1:04 pm

      LOL… I’m seriously considering red streaks in with the gray, but I have a bad feeling it wouldn’t come out the way I’m imagining it.

  • Reply
    Mary Maher
    September 8, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    I’m right there with you at 68. In fact, I’m almost a whole month older. Age is a state of mind and I’m starting to think 70 is the new 40.

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      September 8, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      Haha…that works for me, Mary!

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