by Kassandra Lamb
This was inspired by a Huffington Post blog post my daughter-in-law shared on Facebook recently, called 30 Things That Will (Probably) Happen in Your 30’s. I highly recommend it.
So having just turned 62, I thought I would share the things I think are most important to do in life. I figured 62 things would be a little much, so here are 15:
1. Go skinny-dipping, at least once.
Do it again if you enjoy it.
2. Buy something expensive that you don’t need but you really want.
Enjoy it without guilt!
3. Enjoy sex! (Enough said.)
4. Love passionately at least once in your life, even if you get your heart broken!
5. Learn not to listen to negative people or those who put you down–ignore them, walk away, tell them to f**k off, if you must. Do not hit them; they are not worth going to jail for.
6. Hang on through the bad times; they will pass. Savor the good times; they will pass.
7. Hug your children and tell them you love them every day; if you don’t have your own, hug somebody else’s kids at least once a month (with their permission so you don’t get arrested).
As a matter of fact, hug the adults in your life as often as possible. Hugs are the vitamin C of the heart.
8. Acknowledge that you are angry at your parents for some of the things they did or did not do when you were a kid. Get some therapy about that, or at the very least, yell at an empty chair pretending it is your mom or dad (or both) sitting there.
9. Don’t talk to them about it unless you really think it will make your relationship better in the here and now. DO talk to them about it if you DO think it will make things better.
Then, work on forgiving them. They did the best they could with the parenting skills they learned from their parents. You will probably do better, but your kids will be angry with you for something different.
10. Take care of your body; indeed strive to love it. It’s the only one you’ll get. So do the best you can with what you’ve got and then don’t worry about how you look.
11. Find a career doing something that will make you glad to get out of bed in the morning; if your job doesn’t do that for you, pursue your passion through an avocation.
Life is too short to not spend at least some of it doing something that thrills you!
12. Along those lines, be creative! Paint pictures, write stories or poetry, carve duck decoys, knit scarves for people who won’t wear them–you don’t have to be great at what you’re creating, but there is something about being creative that feeds our souls.
13. Learn not to say anything if you don’t like the person your son or daughter is dating. After the break-up, stifle your own anger and be a good listener/counselor (this will become your role more and more with semi-grown and grown children).
If they marry the person you don’t like, definitely keep your mouth shut! If they marry a good person, tell your daughter/son-in-law how glad you are that they’re part of your family. Repeat some variation of this message at least once a year. (Are ya listenin’, Gina? 😀 )
14. Cherish your friends. At the end of the day, you will count them amongst your greatest treasures.
15. Laugh with them often, for laughter is a healing balm for the heart.
Anything you think should be added to the list?
Oh, by the way, I’ve just re-released the second book in my series (after some revisions to improve the writing; the story’s the same). So if you haven’t read this one yet, check it out. And it’s got a spiffy new cover!
ILL-TIMED ENTANGLEMENTS, A Kate Huntington Mystery
No good deed goes unpunished! When Kate Huntington agrees to help Rob Franklin’s elderly aunt with a problem, the “problem” ends up dead and Kate ends up in the middle of a police investigation. Kate’s second adventure in this series has a cozy mystery flavor, and a budding romance to spice things up.
AMAZON BARNES & NOBLE KOBO APPLE
And it will be available in paperback on Amazon very soon!
Posted by Kassandra Lamb. Kassandra is a retired psychotherapist turned mystery writer. She writes the Kate Huntington mystery series.
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52 Comments
K.B. Owen
September 23, 2014 at 7:52 amGreat items! I’m definitely a hugger, and my three boys have come to accept that, LOL. 😉
I would add: take care of your mind by always learning/doing something new. Experts used to think that we were born with a certain brain potential that we then reached (or not) by our 30s, and then the connections/cells/etc started dying off. Since then, they’ve discovered that nearly everyone, at any age, can learn and forge new neural connections. Good news!
Kassandra Lamb
September 23, 2014 at 12:38 pmAmen, Kathy, and those new neural connections tend to replace the ones lost to aging. Good addition!
I’m a hugger from way back. Embarrassed the hell out of my son when he was younger, but now he’s a hugger as well. 🙂
Amber West
September 23, 2014 at 10:39 amI like this list much better than the “30 before 30” ones – since those tend to make me feel like I haven’t done anything!
Kassandra Lamb
September 23, 2014 at 12:42 pmGlad you like this list better, Amber. Hey, you have a whole lifetime to live. If you cram all your accomplishments in the first few decades, what will you have to look forward to?
Amber West
September 23, 2014 at 12:58 pmI did manage to squeeze #1 in at 29. 🙂
Kassandra Lamb
September 23, 2014 at 2:09 pmCool, Amber! I did it at 18, and discovered it wasn’t quite as much fun as I thought it would be (but that could have been because of the grabby boyfriend I was with). But I think it’s one of those things that everybody should do at least once!
shannon esposito
September 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm“Don’t hit them.” Bahaha! That cracked me up. Amen to the rest of the list. The one thing I’ve learned that I hope I don’t ever forget is how true these words are: “this too shall pass” They keep me going through the hard times and make me more aware of the good ones. As far as “do” I hope by then I will have traveled a lot more and become enlightened about different cultures and beliefs. It’s a goal.
Kassandra Lamb
September 23, 2014 at 2:11 pmOh, my, how could I forget travel! Definitely should be on the list. And “this too shall pass” is my motto for sure.
Kirsten
September 23, 2014 at 10:21 pmGreat list! I liked it better than the Huffpo one.
Kassandra Lamb
September 23, 2014 at 11:03 pmThanks, Kirsten. I liked the Huffpo post author’s sense of humor.
Jennifer Jensen
September 24, 2014 at 8:47 amHah! I had to go back and look for “do not hit them!” I missed it the first time round.
Still working on #1 – we have a pool, but gee, we also have college boys still living at home. And neighbors with a second story that can see over our fence.
I especially like #9. My sister laid blame on our mother for things she hadn’t done (nothing major in the grand scheme of things), and all Mom could do was cry and wonder what else she was getting blamed for. She did the best she could at the time, and my sister saying it didn’t change anything except load Mom with guilt and confusion for a good number of years.
I love Kathy Owen’s addition of always learning. And I’m going to share my favorite line here – “Hugs are the vitamin C of the heart.” Thanks, Kass!
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 1:27 pmLOL No please don’t flash your neighbors or your sons (but when your boys are at school, maybe you could swim at night with the outside lights off? And yes I do have an evil mind. 😉 )
I learned #9 the hard way. Glad you liked the hugs are vitamin C line. I’m thinking I’ll do another post expanding on that!
Deanne
September 24, 2014 at 12:57 pmSusie sent me – great list! Life is short, so enjoy everything you can.
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 1:12 pmAmen, Deanne! Thanks for stopping by.
Audrey
September 24, 2014 at 1:04 pmI definitely need to work harder on hugs and laughter–thanks for the great list. I do regret getting angry at my parents in my mid twenties for all the things I thought they had done wrong. Thankfully, they lived long enough after that for me to mend the relationship, forgive them, and tell them I forgave them.
Oh, and Susie sent me over 🙂
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 1:20 pmHey, Audrey, great to see you here.
It is important to deal with whatever issues we have with our parents, so we can be more mentally-healthy and also be better parents ourselves, but I’ve realized after all these years that confrontations aren’t always all that helpful. Sometimes they can be, but more often not.
I had a couple with my mother, for some pretty bad things that she did or failed to do, but it made our relationship as adults worse, not better, so I learned to shut up and deal with the mother of the past in therapy.
And then I could enjoy the mother of the present, who ended up being one of dearest friends.
I’m glad you had a chance to have a good resolution with your parents! Here are some cyber {{{Hugs}}} (Not quite as powerful but still good.)
David N.Walker
September 24, 2014 at 1:06 pmSusie sent me over here. Too bad I’m nearly a decade beyond your timeline, but I do pretty much agree with you.
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 1:23 pmHey David, glad you agree with most of the list. Age definitely has a way of putting things in perspective!
Jamie
September 24, 2014 at 2:52 pmHi! Thanks for stopping by my page, fellow Susie blog partier.
This is a great list!
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 4:56 pmThanks for coming by, Jamie. I’m loving the comments on your blog!
Cassandra
September 24, 2014 at 2:58 pmThat is a fabulous list. I would add Travel. As widely and as often as possible. See the world and what a great variety of people live within it.
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 4:57 pmOh, yes, travel definitely needs to be added to the list!
silent Kim
September 24, 2014 at 3:04 pmI’m partying with Susie. Enjoyed this bucket list. Especially the enjoying sex part I would just like to have it once again sometime. Nice visiting.
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 4:58 pmGlad you liked it, Kim. Aren’t Susie’s parties a blast?
Susan
September 24, 2014 at 3:08 pmSusie sent me. These are all great points to think about!
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 4:58 pmThanks for stopping by, Susan!
Donna
September 24, 2014 at 4:56 pmI love these inspirational lists. I want to do many of them as I just turned 50. It’s an age that makes you think about how many years you may have left. I wrote a post with a twist on the bucket list if you’d like to read it http://wp.me/pXdq1-75 It’s my friend Robert’s list. He passed away this year after a cancer battle. I hope you like it.
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 5:30 pmBelieve it or not, Donna, 50 now sounds young to me. Enjoy this coming decade! And I will definitely check out your post. Thanks for sharing it.
Susie Lindau
September 24, 2014 at 5:42 pmWow! I love your list! Happy Birthday! I would add, try to take a moment every day to be thankful even if the day sucked. There’s always a bright side.
Thanks for bringing this to the party. There are a lot of new faces in the crowd!
Kassandra Lamb
September 24, 2014 at 7:55 pmThanks Susie! And that’s great addition to the list. Be grateful for each day!
Having a blast at the party, but oh, it’s so hard to keep up with everyone. I suspect we’ll still be partying into the weekend at this rate.
Phil
September 24, 2014 at 11:37 pmDropping by from Susie’s party. These are things that can be applied to anyone at 30, 40, 50, 60, etc. Life is short so make the best of it!
Kassandra Lamb
September 25, 2014 at 1:21 amSo true, Phil! Thanks for stopping by.
Jan Moyer
September 24, 2014 at 11:54 pmGreat list – for all stages of life.
Kassandra Lamb
September 25, 2014 at 1:23 amTrue, Jan, except maybe the one about appreciating your son/daughter-in-law. That one doesn’t usually come up until middle age. 🙂 But yes, the sooner we get the others, the better off we are going to be!
August McLaughlin
September 25, 2014 at 1:55 amLove this! As you can probably guess, I’m partial to #3–but they’re all fab! Thanks for being you. 🙂
Kassandra Lamb
September 25, 2014 at 3:55 pmAw, you’re so sweet, August! And of course you are partial to #3. 😀
Chaz DeSimone
September 25, 2014 at 2:07 amLast December I turned 62. In 1962 my dad died at 62 years old (he was born Dec. 31, 1899–the year was always the same number as his age). So 62 has a lot of weight for me this year. As you know, my AmperArt is numbered. I skipped #62, reserving that for something special, probably about my dad.
Your 15 things by 62 is not just entertaining; it’s thought-provoking.
1. Being a nudist, I have this one covered (uncovered?) already.
2. That’s why I’m always broke.
3. Can you remind me what that is?
4. I did, it was, I still miss her.
5 – 6. Agreed.
7. I learned to hug from Leo Buscalia. But let’s hug our pets, too.
8 – 9. Had great parents; I feel bad for those who don’t/didn’t.
10. After I finish this gallon of ice cream.
11 – 12. I’m blessed in that area. Always enjoyed creativity as a career.
13. I don’t have kids, but I don’t care for the cat my cat is seeing; I think it has fleas.
14. Yes, and I’ve made some friends right here.
15. Susie makes that happen.
Kassandra Lamb
September 25, 2014 at 4:15 pmLOL Love your responses, Chaz!
And definitely we should add hugging our pets to the list, unless they have picked up fleas from their less-desirable friends. 😉
Barb Taub
September 25, 2014 at 12:20 pmHappy birthday! Fantastic list, but you forgot to add “travel to Scotland and visit Barb!”
Barb Taub
September 25, 2014 at 12:22 pm…And I just downloaded ILL-TIMED ENTANGLEMENTS. Can’t wait to read it!
Kassandra Lamb
September 25, 2014 at 3:57 pmWoot! let me know what you think of the story.
Oh, and you may regret that invite to Scotland! We are planning a trip for next year some time, to France and the UK. You are on my list of people to pester while I’m over there.
Vinnie Hansen
September 25, 2014 at 10:02 pmGreat list, Kassandra! I would add almost exactly what Kathy did–to continue to challenge ourselves and grow.
Kassandra Lamb
September 26, 2014 at 12:30 amWell, I certainly agree with that, Vinnie, or I wouldn’t have come out of retirement to become an author. Talk about learning and growing… 🙂
Karen McFarland
September 26, 2014 at 12:49 amGoodness, it’s obvious how well this post was received Kassandra. All fifteen resonated with me. But my personal favs are Hugs and Laughter. Can’t live without them. Although it looks like I will be yelling at an empty chair. lol. Ah, forgiveness. Yep, that’s a biggie. Which brings me to #16…Peace. Gotta have that. Great list! 🙂
Kassandra Lamb
September 26, 2014 at 11:10 amHey Karen, this one was so well received because I was partying over at Susie Lindau’s, and boy, that party was hopping this time!
Hugs and laughter are my favs as well. And of course the bottom line is Peace. These are the things that bring me peace; glad they resonated for you as well. Take care, my friend!
Ally Bean
September 26, 2014 at 9:26 amThis is a great list, but I think that one shouldn’t limit herself to doing #2 just once. It should be an ongoing lifestyle commitment. Nice things, no guilt.
[Susie sent me, btw. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting.]
Kassandra Lamb
September 29, 2014 at 12:32 pmHey Ally, I just found your comment in spam purgatory. Sorry about that!
I agree. #2 should definitely be repeated as often as affordable!
Shan Jeniah Burton
October 2, 2014 at 5:04 pmThis is fantastic! May I reblog it, pretty please?!
Kassandra Lamb
October 2, 2014 at 9:51 pmBy all means, Shan. Reblog away!
Shan Jeniah Burton
October 3, 2014 at 12:32 amThank you – I will share it a bit later in the day, when people might actually be wake to read it! =D
Kerry
October 3, 2014 at 9:17 pmIt may be hard to believe, but I don’t think numbers eight and nine really apply to me. My parents were pretty damn good. Nobody is perfect, of course, but I know what a lot of families go through and I am very lucky. 🙂 I just did the loving passionately thing and the getting my heart broken thing was the result. How did you know? 😉
Kassandra Lamb
October 3, 2014 at 11:38 pmOh, my, Kerry, so sorry that the heart-broken part came to pass. 🙁 But I do think we need to take the risk of that passionate love at least once. I’ve known some cases where it actually lasted a lifetime (one of my great aunts found such love for forty years!)
And if nothing else it helps us appreciate the more mellow but steadfast kind of love (the kind I have had with my husband of 38 years).
And I am so, so glad you don’t have to do #8 and 9. Give us humans another generation or two and we may all just figure out how to do this parenting thing!