rusty bolt

Changing Your Self-Esteem Filters

by Kassandra Lamb

I’m over at Pirkko Rytkonen’s blog today, talking about why it’s hard to change how we feel about ourselves.

A filter should be easy to change, right? I can change the one in my furnace in five minutes. Any self-respecting auto mechanic can change an oil filter in a car in less than twenty. An air filter’s even easier.

rusty bolt

Try getting this bad boy out! (photo by Noel Feans, CC-BY 2.0, Wikimedia Commons)

So why is it so hard to change our self-esteem filters?

Mainly it’s because they’ve been established for so long. It’s like those rusty screws or bolts in something that you can’t get loose for love nor money.

Our self-esteem filters are established when… READ MORE HERE

 

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Kirsten Weiss
    April 29, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Good advice, though I can’t identify with the perfectionism issues at all! What about us under-achievers?

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 29, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      Good point, Kirsten. That too is another whole post. It’s hard to think of you as an underachiever, though, when I look at all that you’ve accomplished!

  • Reply
    Shan Jeniah Burton
    May 2, 2014 at 12:02 am

    I was labeled an underachiever as a stdent – today, many writing friends refer to me as an over-achiever.

    This amuses me.

    I think it has to do with the shift. In school, others determine which of our activities are achievements. Out in the real world, we get to.

    My never-schooled kids have never mentioned either of those words. They just go about their lives, learning, growing, and doing things they love because they want to.

    From them, I’ve learned to do the same. =D

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      May 2, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      We can learn a lot from our kids, Shan! And I totally agree about the underachiever label sometimes being stuck on a kid because they aren’t really interested in the schoolwork they are encountering. I had a 3rd grade teacher who labelled me as underachieving. I was that way in her class because she never praised anyone and she was downright mean at times, so I had no desire to please her.

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