Relaxation Made Easy

We all know that the best antidote to stress is relaxation. But what do you think of when you hear that word relaxation? A long soak in a hot tub, a massage, a vacation to the beach…

woman receiving shoulder massage

(Rama Day Spa Frankfurt — photo by Thomas Wanhoff from Phnom Penh Cambodia CC-BY-SA 2.0 Wikimedia Commons)

Those are excellent ways to relax but they require some time and effort. So if you’re like me, you may very well put off doing those things. “I’ll schedule a vacation/book a massage, etc. when I get past this deadline,” I tend to say to myself.

There are however, many simple ways to relax throughout every day. AND it is important to relax throughout the day every day. Those big relaxers are great, but they don’t last. I get a massage and the tension is back in my shoulders by the next day–sometimes sooner.

Why is it important to relax throughout the day? Remember that part of the nervous system that controls arousal vs. relaxation that we talked about awhile back? Quick refresher: the autonomic nervous system controls our body’s response to challenges and threats in our environment. When something is threatening/challenging us, the sympathetic branch of the ANS arouses our body to meet that challenge. Our heart rate, blood pressure, etc. go up, muscles tense, respiration increases, etc. When the challenge is over, the parasympathetic branch calms us down again so everything can go back to normal.

These two branches counterbalance each other, like the old-fashioned teeter-toters on children’s playgrounds when I was a kid. When one kid pushed off and went up, the kid on the other side went down.

So every time we activate the parasympathetic branch (relaxation) we are deactivating the sympathetic branch (arousal). And then it take a little while for the body to get all stressed out and tense again.

In terms of our minds, when we take relaxation breaks throughout the day, we recharge our coping batteries so that we go back to the tasks at hand with a clearer focus. Thus the time spent on these little relaxation breaks will enhance our productivity, making them well worth it.

So here are some quick and simple ways to relax periodically throughout the day. All of these can be done in 5-10 minutes, some of them even less than that. Btw, with all of these (except #4) it’s a good idea to be seated or lying down with every part of your body comfortably supported.

1.  Progressive relaxation: Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, then focus on each muscle group, telling your brain to send the signal for those muscles to relax completely. You can start either with your scalp or your feet. I’m a scalp person myself. I imagine the tension just flowing down and out of my body.

Try it! Close your eyes, deep breath, focus on your scalp and let it relax, then your face muscles (sometimes the jaw needs separate attention), then your neck, shoulders, etc.

2.  Guided imagery: No need to book a flight and pack your bags. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your favorite relaxing vacation spot. Build the imagery by engaging all the senses. Lay on the beach and feel the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze on your skin, hear the seagulls and the lapping waves, smell the salt in the air, etc.

3.  Self-hypnosis: Can’t think of a relaxing place to go, or not the best at imagining things. Then try a little self-hypnosis. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and visualize a set of steps in your mind’s eye (or a hill gently sloping downward in front of you). Imagine yourself slowly going down those steps/that hill and tell yourself (repeat several times) that with each step you will become more and more relaxed. Once at the bottom, you can tell yourself that you will relax completely for ____ minutes and then you will ‘wake up’ refreshed and energized (again repeat several times).

4.  I’ve saved the easiest and fastest for last. Have you noticed a trend above? Each time you start with a deep breath. That’s because deep breathing automatically engages the parasympathetic (relaxation) branch of the ANS and gets the ball rolling. So if you don’t have time to stop even for 5 minutes, you can just do the deep breathing. Three slow, deep breaths in a row can do wonders!

I also saved this one for last because I have a fun story to share. A friend of mine was once going through a very busy time. I kept reminding her to take time to relax and take care of herself, and she kept saying she couldn’t do that. She would relax once XYZ was off her plate. I suggested all of the above and her response was that she didn’t even have 5 minutes a day to spare, and she knew she would never remember to take the deep breaths.

I suggested that I hypnotize her and give her post-hypnotic suggestions that whenever she started to get tense she would automatically take a deep breath. She gave me a skeptical look but she did sit still long enough for me to do this.

The next time I saw her was about two weeks later. I asked her how the deep breathing was going.

“It´s wonderful!” she said. “I don´t have to think about it. I just automatically take a breath whenever I need to relax some. There was just one problem. Jim (her husband) kept looking at me funny. I finally asked him why and he said he was worried about me because I was so depressed.”

“‘I’m not depressed,’ I told him. ‘What gave you that idea?’”

“‘Well, you’re constantly walking around the house sighing,’ he said.” 🙂

What do you think? Which of these techniques appeals the most to you? Or do you have other ideas?

I suggest trying all of these and then focusing on the one(s) that work best for you. I mainly use #1 and #3 myself.

Posted by Kassandra Lamb. Kassandra is a retired psychotherapist turned mystery writer. She writes the Kate Huntington mystery series.

We blog here at misterio press once a week about more serious topics, usually on Monday or Tuesday. Sometimes we blog again, on Friday or the weekend, with something just for fun.

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  • Reply
    Kristy K. James
    April 2, 2013 at 4:28 am

    I love these suggestions, and I’ve used some of them in the past (how quickly we forget in times of stress!). I tend to do 1, 2, and 4, but I like 4 the most, followed closely by 2.

    Why 4…because you’re right. It’s quick and it’s effective. But I mostly like it because for about three years following my car accident, I had a lot of trouble with high blood pressure…for the first time in my life. My doctor started talking about putting me on medication for it, and I dug my heels in, saying I wanted to see what I could do on my own first. I’d responded this way every time she brought it up, but that time I meant it…because she was starting to use scare tactics…and it worked.

    So I started researching and tried this breathing exercise I found. My blood pressure dropped back to the normal range (not immediately, but within a couple of weeks), I didn’t have to take any meds, and I’m happy. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      Wow! Thanks for the great testimonial, Kristy! I’m amazed at how much difference it can make when we remember to stop and breathe occasionally. 🙂

  • Reply
    Ginger Calem
    April 2, 2013 at 7:56 am

    These are all such great suggestions! I was in sore need of them last night when I had complete insomnia. Maybe I’ll get a chance to do some relaxation later and actually take a nap to boot! 🙂

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      Oh, no. So sorry you had insomnia last night, Ginger. 🙁

      I love using 1, 2 or 3 (or sometimes a combo of them) to take catnaps. I tend to sleep too soundly when I nap, and then I’m groggy and miserable afterwards. So by telling myself that I will “relax completely” (vs. go to sleep) and will “wake up refreshed” I can often get in a light sleep-type nap.

      Hope you sleep well tonight!

  • Reply
    Shannon Esposito
    April 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Yeah, agree…great information! Wait, wait…you can hypnotize people?? I bet you’re fun at parties 🙂

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 12:23 pm

      Ha! I knew I was going to get in trouble if I admitted to having that particular skill.

  • Reply
    K.B. Owen
    April 2, 2013 at 9:31 am

    Love the advice, Kass – especially the breathing. Great story, too, LOL. 😉

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      Glad you liked the tips and enjoyed the story, Kathy. I still chuckle every time I think about her poor husband worrying that she was depressed. 😉

  • Reply
    Kirsten Weiss
    April 2, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    Love hypnosis. It’s like a brain massage! A real massage isn’t bad either…

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      Oh, I like that, Kirsten! A brain massage.

  • Reply
    Karen McFarland
    April 2, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Kassandra, great post. That breathing technique is so essential. In chinese medicine, the lungs support the kidney/adrenals. (They view them as one.) So as you know, breathing is so relaxing. It it does pay off to relax during the day to re-charge. Why do we feel so guilty stopping? There’s a post for ya Kassandra. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      April 2, 2013 at 11:07 pm

      LOL That is definitely a good idea for a post, Karen. Why do we feel guilty for stopping to take care of ourselves? The problem is that I’m not sure I know the answer to that question. 🙂

  • Reply
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