Hair, Hair, Everywhere

Maybe you noticed that we missed our Monday post. That’s because we were moving our site to this new location. Still some boxes to unpack but we’re loving the neighborhood! (Note: It’s really me, Kassandra Lamb. I don’t have a door key. Shannon hasn’t made me one yet, so I had to borrow hers. That’s why it says this is posted by her.) 

Today is just for fun Friday, so let’s talk about hair.

I was cleaning my house the other day because we were having guests over that evening. I vacuumed my bathroom floor, then wet a paper towel and wiped it down, and still I found hairs on the floor! Why is it that hair gets into everything? And that got my bored mind to thinking about hair (it doesn’t take much to distract me from cleaning).

Hair can be very symbolic and can also have a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves.

I have long hair. I am now officially a senior citizen and most women, by my age, have cut their hair into a short, easy-to-care-for style. But I don’t like the way I look in short hair. My mother used to make me cut my hair every spring, insisting it would be cooler during the summer. I hated it! My long slender nose suddenly looked like Pinocchio’s, with a golf ball stuck on the end of it. (I inherited my mother’s nose so maybe it was a “misery loves company” thing for her.) When I was 14, I refused to cut my hair that spring, and I’ve worn it long ever since.

 (Me in 8th grade, the last spring I let my mother talk me into cutting my hair; my 12th grade yearbook picture.)

Of course I look at these pictures now and realize it maybe didn’t make as much difference in how my nose looked as I thought at the time. But you know how it is when you’re a self-conscious 8th grader.

My hair is thick, naturally wavy and very dry. At least now that I live in humid Florida, I fit in. Down here, everybody’s hair is frizzy. But despite the frizzies, I love my hair (most days). Every now and then I monkey with the style, to see if there’s something I like better, but I always end up coming back to long, curly layers–the style that works with my facial features whether it’s ‘in style’ right now or not.

I know a lot of women, however–and a few men–who don’t like their hair. Or in the case of some of the guys, the lack thereof. What I find interesting as a psychologist is that a person’s self-esteem and how they feel about their hair are often linked, and not necessarily realistically.

This is also true with weight, of course. All of us probably know more than one woman with luscious, shiny hair and a gorgeous figure who thinks she’s fat and has ugly hair. It makes those of us of average attractiveness tend to shake our heads in wonder (scattering a few hairs in the process).

Actress Elizabeth Taylor

Quote by Liz Taylor: I don’t like my voice. I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like the way I move. I don’t like the way I act. I mean, period. So, you know, I don’t like myself.

How sad. What’s going on here is that the person has poor self-esteem, probably for a lot of bogus reasons that nonetheless seem valid to them, and their dislike of themselves is projected onto their physical packaging. They then focus tons of energy on trying to improve the packaging to perfection (and thus many an eating disorder was born) thinking this will make them feel better about themselves. But it never works, because their psychological mirror is broken. They think they are not okay so they’re never going to look okay to themselves. At least not until they work on those self-esteem issues.

Wait, this was supposed to be a fun post. Okay, who remembers these little guys?

Of course, these are the cute version, but when a creature is portrayed as bad or evil, like real trolls (trolls are real, aren’t they?) or mad scientists, they often have wild crazy hair, the external symbol of their internal evil.

We writers use hair references a lot to set a scene or describe an emotion.

“He grabbed his hair and yanked” is much more interesting than “he was frustrated.”

photo by cellar door films, from WANA Commons

And how about, “He tossed his wayward hair out of his eyes as he trapped her hands against his chest.” *swoon* Oh, yeah, he’s about to kiss her.

You get the idea. What are your thoughts about hair? What do you like or loathe about your own? Have you noticed that different hairstyles change how your facial features look?

And for my fellow writers, a little challenge. Who can come up with the most original and creative hair imagery (you are limited to one sentence)?


(Posted by Kassandra Lamb. Kassandra is a retired psychotherapist turned mystery writer. She writes the Kate Huntington mystery series. Check out her site at

We blog here at misterio press once a week about more serious topics, usually on Monday or Tuesday. Sometimes we blog again, on Friday or the weekend, with something just for fun.

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  • Reply
    CC MacKenzie
    October 26, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Hair of the dog.

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      October 27, 2012 at 12:10 am


  • Reply
    CC MacKenzie
    October 26, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    I’m a Leo and as such have thick hair and plenty of it. These days it comes to just under my chin and now I can hold it up and back in a clip I’m very happy. When I was younger (a lot younger) people said my hair was like Farrah Fawcett. It was cut in long layers, I dried it upside down with the hairdryer threw my head back and left it. Those were the days!

    Great post! And lovely new digs!

    • Reply
      Kassandra Lamb
      October 27, 2012 at 12:09 am

      Ah, yes, those were the days! I used to have a Farrah Fawcett ‘do’ as well. Now I put a bunch of gels and stuff on it to try to tame it a bit more. Thanks for stopping by, CC. Glad you like the new place. It’ll be even nicer once we get the drapes hung.

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